i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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