y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
