I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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