so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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