we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
