Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
