My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
