Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Houston, we have a blender
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
