remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
