We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
