stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
where are my eyebrows?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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