told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
