THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
