Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
