Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize