I like to think it a success when the cops are called
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
