My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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