are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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