singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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