nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Let the clothes fall where they may.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
