Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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