Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
