Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
The struggles of a small town man whore
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
