You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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