Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
