I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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