i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
