In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I touched a dick in church today
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