i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
