So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize