if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
