walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
