Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
