What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
