i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
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