I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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