new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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