like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
