I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there was a trapeze. enough said
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
