Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize