Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I love having hate sex.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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