i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
