So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
