Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize