sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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