All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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