so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
