Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
