I wannas sexs uuuuu
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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