Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize