Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
