I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Randomize
