It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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