he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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