Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I am available for nakedness
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
we should paint friendship bongs
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