i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
