he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
