Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
