She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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