margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
