i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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