Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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