I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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