he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
