well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
