I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Found the puke drawer
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
