idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
